Poem 207 ± December 28, 2015

Timothy DuWhite
I will hold his hand

After “Change” by Langston Kerman

& the whole park will become a collective gasp
& the pigeons will cease their journey mid-air
& the children will cry
& the parents will hiss, their tongues split and pupils narrow
& all you will hear are the police sirens
& the sky will rain feathered boas
& our hands will become one
& we will become one person, with two mouths, and four feet
& we will walk heavy because we will have so much ground to cover
& the ground will become a map of broken glass
& we will take off our shoes
& our mothers will become our feet
& we will step on so many shards
& my Aunt Rena will be all the blood I leave behind
& she will just continue to laugh from the ground
& compare me being gay to her over-eating
& say how we need to wean ourselves off all of this sugar
& then my hand will get sweaty
& I will insist I need a break
& he will ask if we are breaking up
& I will say just until I get this glass out of my mother’s gut
& I will say where are we walking to anyway
& he will say that we are just at the park
& the swing set will turn me back to ten years old
& my best friend Chauncey will call me a faggot for not wanting to pull down Gabby’s top
& I will say I just don’t like white girls
& he will nod
& I will convince myself I am just racist
& that I don’t really want to just take off Chauncey’s top
& then I will wake up
& I will be twenty-one again
& the park will just be some storm cloud
& we will be the lightening bolt striking the same place too many times to be logical
& he will still be holding my hand
& he will say, “there, that wasn’t too bad, was it?”
& the kids will still be crying
& I will no longer feel guilty because the sun is out, and so am I
And I dare you to tell me what is not perfect about all of this flaming.

Timothy DuWhiteTimothy DuWhite is a spoken word poet whose work has been featured at the United Nations, Apollo Theater, San Diego State University, and Nuyorican Poet’s Cafe, among other venues. His poems “Joy Revisited,” “Auntie Pearl,” and “Here’s The Scenario” may be found on YouTube. You can learn more about Timothy on awQward, the first talent agency established to connect trans and queer people of color with venues that want to feature them and their work.

This poem appeared on The Rumblr.