Deloris Dockrey
Fear, My Companion and Motivator
Fear is my constant companion,
Fear is my motivator.
Fear was there when I was molested as a child,
Fear was there in my guilt and shame,
Fear motivated me to say STOP!
Fear was there when I had my son,
Fear was there when I knew I was alone,
Fear motivated me to keep HIM.
Fear was there when I journeyed to a new country,
Fear was there as I ran away from guilt and shame,
Fear motivated me to succeed and ACHIEVE.
Fear was there when I became HIV positive,
Fear was there in my guilt and shame,
Fear motivated me to survive and LIVE!
Fear was there when I was rejected and unloved,
Fear was there in my guilt and shame,
Fear motivated me to find a new PATH.
Fear was there as I lay in a coma,
Fear was there in my regret and guilt,
Fear motivated me to go on LIVING!
Fear I have grown to respect you,
My guilt and shame are gone,
Fear remains, but fear motivates me to a LIFE—
A life well lived, a life of PEACE.
Deloris Dockrey is the Director of Community Organizing and New Jersey Women Advocacy Network (NJWAN) for Hyacinth AIDS Foundation, New Jersey’s oldest and largest AIDS service organization, where she directs public education, AIDS prevention and community action campaigns to raise awareness and encourage action to address the social crisis caused by HIV/AIDS. As a person living with HIV, Ms. Dockrey has a personal as well as professional interest in public health policies related to the HIV epidemic. She has trained and mobilized people living with HIV to advocate for policies that impact their access to care, treatment, support, and prevention services.
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